Thursday, September 14, 2006

Weird Day

Hello today. It's one of those weird days where I want to write but don't know what to write about. Still feeling very "blah" or something. It's almost like I feel empty in some way. It's just a hard feeling to describe. I actually think I found a feeling I've never felt before. That's some feat too for me. I'm not really sad but I kind of am...what exactly I'm sad about I don't know. Confusion, anger, frustration and some other things are mixed in there as well. Also and odd sense of peace/calm. Like a part of me really understands everything. It'd just be great if whatever part of me that is that understands everything would relay it to my conscious self.

I do have to admit it is nice to have the few days off though. Gives me time to rest and stuff. I've felt very worn out lately so hopefully this will help a little. It's nice to be at home just me and the animals. Somehow I think they know too. I spent like an hour today watching Will & Grace brushing my dog Charlie. I didn't even realize I had been brushing him that long. Usually he won't sit still long enough for me to do it but he didn't seem to mind this morning. I think the Husband needs some time to recuperate too. Like I had mentioned before I think he was more excited than I was. He was very good about seeming okay at the hospital but now it's starting to take it's toll on him. He may be a daft prick sometimes but it is possible for him to be sensitive too. So far the only people we have left to untell is his sister that we saw last weekend. I called my Dad last night and told him. I actually didn't cry either. I was pretty proud of myself for that one. This is one of those times where I will censor when I can cry otherwise I would probably cry all of the time. I have gotten really good at self pep talks too. :P I can't imagine what it must be like for women who lost their babies at a later date must feel like. It would be hard. But time marches on. Life will knock you on your butt and you can either lay there or get back up again. And yes I stole that line from a song by Lonestar :P Anywho, anyone have any good assignments for me to work on to help keep my mind busy?

5 Comments:

At 1:12 PM , Blogger Rocky Mountain Princess said...

Suvvy: Sweetie, I know that "I'm sorry" sounds so trivial in the face of your pain, but it's all I've got. Please don't hesitate to email me if you need someone to talk to or vent to. You're very strong and I admire your courage in the face of this. Don't hesitate to reach out, ok? I may be a faceless internet stranger, but I still care about you! Keep your chin up, everything always works out. *Hugs*

 
At 10:33 PM , Blogger Coyote Mike said...

What I still can't figure out is, I outweigh you by like 150 lbs, and yet you always are able to drink more than me. Maybe you can write a story about that :P

 
At 8:41 AM , Blogger Faris said...

hey, hope things are getting better. Yeah, write a story. We all enjoyed your last effort. Or you could write a flash. About 500 words. Like what you read in my blog.

 
At 9:29 PM , Blogger cinefille said...

writing always makes a difference. btw... i really enjoy reading your posts.

 
At 2:42 PM , Blogger SuvvyGirl said...

Thank you to everyone. I will hopefully get some time this afternoon for another post.

 

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