I am in a good mood today. Not sure what brought it on, but it’s really nice. Thanksgiving went well and I only burnt myself twice (yes sadly enough that is a good thing). Our 21.5lb turkey turned out great and I was actually organized and had everything else ready to go once the turkey was done.

Lily, Isaiah and I left Friday to go see my Grandma and give Tim a night to himself. Unfortunately for him he caught a cold and was in bed by 9pm. The visit with my Grandma was nice and I know the kids enjoyed it. But by Saturday Lily was ready to be home, especially after she came down from her little caffeine high she had been on. Since Grandma and I were having coffee the kids thought they had to have some too. Of course there’s was more milk than coffee but it was still enough to make a difference to a 2 and 8 year old body.

When we got home I found out Tim and TJ were nice enough to pick up the book I had on order from the bookstore. I finally get to finish my Kay Scarpetta novels by Patricia Cornwell. Not normally what I read but I started reading the series since my Step Dad had left all the books and now I have to finish it. As the series goes on though, I like them more and more.

Sunday was my friend Tabitha’s last night at pool. She found herself a place to live and will be leaving in her U-Haul this Saturday for her new home and job. We didn’t do as hot at pool as we could have but we all drank and had a good time. I even got a cute picture taken of me that I even like. See….

Monday I saw my Dad for a whole 20 minutes while he was here for court due to my Step Brother and his wife. It was rather interesting because Jimmy stopped by my office to say hi and got to meet Dad. I’ll be interested to get his take…especially since Jimmy is my Step Dad’s best friend and has heard plenty about Dad. Even though I didn’t see him much I did get a call from Dad later in the night that was pretty much same old crap just another day. I think he has lost it. Some of it made sense and then he’d divert. It was like listening to a psychopathic Rose from the Golden Girls. I love my Dad but he needs to get his act together, there’s so much he’s allowed himself to miss out on.

Monday also brought on me deciding to go to the doctor finally. My blood sugar has been acting funny for a while and there are days I just haven’t felt good. The doctor basically just said that I’m not where she would diagnose me as being diabetic and thinks losing weight will do the trick to help me feel better. So I am now on a diet and trying to get into the habit of working out again. If I could get some more alone time it would work great. I don’t like working out in front of the family or anyone else for that fact…unless of course I’m already in good shape and look good.

Along with this I think it’s time to color my hair again, just undecided what color. It’s either going to be somewhere in the brown or red group since my hair is naturally dark brown. I don’t do black or blonde. Anyone have any suggestions for colors you like?

And for good measure here is Lily helping with

the Christmas decorations:

Hi Everybody!!

Only one more work day this week!! I’m very excited for Turkey Day and my 4 day weekend to get here. I have an enormous Turkey that Tim picked out to cook. The largest turkey I’ve cooked so far has been 12 lbs, this one is 21.5lbs!! It is huge! At first Tim didn’t believe me when I told him I wanted to start thawing it last night. Then he read the packaging and figured it was a good idea. I’m making turkey, stuffing, green bean casserole, cheesy broccoli, mashed potatoes, gravy, jellied cranberry sauce (the canned kind :P), apple pie and pumpkin pie. I’m going to be busier than a one armed paper hanger. Tim only gets Thursday off so we are staying home for actual Thanksgiving then Isaiah, Lily and I are headed to my Grandma’s on Friday for a visit. I thought it was time for us to visit her in her natural habitat instead of her coming here. She will be the sweet loving grandma I know and love instead of the cranky travelling gnome she turns into when she’s here. I think Tim will be happy to have a night to have to himself to relax, go out with friends, whatever he happens to do.

In other news I saw New Moon on Sunday with Lisa. The first movie I thought was a bit (ok a lot) cheesy but I still liked it but I was somewhat disappointed with this second one. The cheesiness was stepped up a notch (if that was even possible) and just seemed very awkward in places. I like the story line although I cannot stand Bella! The girl drives me insane! Why Stephanie Meyer decided to make the most irritating, daftly stupid leading character is beyond me. I seriously think the woman gets hate mail because of Bella. At one point I leaned over and asked Lisa “Exactly what about her is supposed to be so loveable?” According to Lisa and others I’ve talked to that have actually read the books Bella isn’t any better in them either. It also doesn’t’ help I don’t like Kristen Stewart. But what the movie lacks it definitely tries to make up for with the yummy shirtless Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner). Now I’m with Steph on this that yes he’s young but the boy is gorgeous…especially after he cuts his hair. Although I do have a hard time getting past him being Sharkboy from the movie Sharkboy and Lava Girl, I also have issues getting past Robert Pattinson being Cedric Digory in Harry Potter.

I have decided that it is a must that I read this series though. I can’t quite sink my teeth into loving Edward; I am more of a team Jacob person. To me Jacob seems like the better, hunkier choice in the movie. But everyone keeps telling me I will just fall in love with Edward once I read the books. I will still feel bad for Jacob though. Stupid little twit Bella just toys with his poor heart and I don’t think that it’s right. So I guess that’s one thing that’s on my Christmas list this year is this series. I know I could just check them out at the library or something but I enjoy owning books. Now we’ll just see if I get them and if so how long it will take me to read them. So many books, so little time *sigh*

Well peoples I’m off to lunch hope you all have Happy Thanksgivings and great weekends!! Toodles!

In lieu of all the chatter and goings on with the Twilight series I thought I would introduce you to another series of vampires that I enjoy…The Vampire Diaries. This is a book series I read back in high school when I went through vampire novels like water. I enjoyed it since it was about a high school girl who is torn between two vampire brothers and all that good stuff. To my surprise the TV network The CW has made a series based on these books. Now they are not really high quality but they definitely quench your thirst for sexy vampires. At first I wasn’t sure how well I would like the TV show because none of the actors fit my images I had in my mind on how the characters look. But as the show has gone on I’ve realized I have forgotten more of the books than I remember and I’ve really enjoyed it. I think the actors do a great job and the ones that play the vampire brothers Stefan and Damon make it all worth while (especially when they don’t have shirts on).

Who knows what the absolute alluring quality is of vampires. Maybe it’s that they are immortal, human, emotional, strong and all the other stuff rolled into one amazing individual. Whatever it is has always had me hooked and now I have to go dig through my moving boxes to find my Vampire Diaries set and re read it. Also much to my surprise LJ Smith has added 3 new books to this series recently that focus on Damon (yay!).

There has been some other interesting goings on over this past week. As I’ve mentioned before my Dad and I haven’t really been on speaking terms for about a year. Every time I have tried to break the silence first it has not gone well. But oddly enough I actually heard from him last week. My step brother Toby and his dysfunctional life were having issues again and Dad was checking to see if Toby could stay with us until he found his own place. Long story short the psycho woman Toby is married to went ape shit on him and smucked him with a curling iron, busted him in the lips and the nuts etc. etc. Not a healthy situation and with Toby being on probation he needs to get out. Toby wound up moving back to the town where his Grandparents live at the urging of his probation officer. But throughout this my Dad and I have had several decent conversations. He hasn’t been pissed off at me or anyone in my general direction. He’s sounded more like Dad. I spoke with him again for a bit over my lunch hour today and he called me Munchkin, which is something I haven’t heard in a very long time. That’s what he called me ever since I was little. I haven’t heard it a whole lot in the last ten years since the divorce. It was nice, and once again showed me that at least a glimmer of the man I once knew is still there.

Now I’m sure that there are going to be more angry moments/messages I’m going to get from him. But I’m getting better at moving past them and have a firm stance that he has to be the one to make the next step to communicate again. In a lot of ways I understand his hurt/anger/bitterness but he’s not allowing himself to try to heal.

I had to leave this post half way yesterday since I got busy at work. Since then I’ve talked to my Dad and I’m very tired. It was a rather bizarre conversation. He rehashed all the crap that he thinks I have done to him over the years and why he’s been angry with me etc. etc. then in the next breath would say that it was okay though because he being angry is just how he deals with stuff. Then he’d get back on another tangent about other things he remembered that upset him.

My father thinks that I sold out because I lived with Mom when they got divorced and because I still choose to have contact with my Mom and her side of the family along with my Step Dad. He brought up all of the things I’ve accused him of doing and saying and gets pissed off because I can’t remember the bad stuff my Mom has done.

Just for one day if he could live inside my head he would understand. He remembers things quite a bit differently than I do, than a lot of people do. One thing that he’s dwelled on is that I accused him of calling me a whore. Well that’s not far off.

About 3 months after Mom and I moved out Mom asked Dad if he would help install a teen line for my room in our new place. He was still being semi normal then and she thought him and I could do it together. Well this was shortly after fathers day and instead of staying in my room and the outside of the house doing the work he started snooping through my Mom’s room. By this time her and Stan (my now step dad) had openly started dating. I wasn’t crazy about this factor but I thought Stan was a nice guy and liked him. Dad found a card I had given Stan on father’s day and lost it. Now it wasn’t an actual father’s day card it was a hey you’re here and I accept that. Not much thought went into it other than I felt bad that Stan wasn’t going to get anything from his daughter for father’s day so I picked up a .99 cent card for him. I also spent a lot of time picking out the one for my Dad and gave it to him. Well after finding the card Dad left then came back a short time later with my cat and threw her at me and basically just threw a big fit and told me “You’re going to be a whore just like your Mother”. Then left.

I was 15 at the time and had always believed my parents had a great marriage until I found out about Stan and all the problems they had came to a head. And having my own Dad say something like that was worse to me than anything. I understood the card thing upset him but he wasn’t ever supposed to see Stan’s card. It was tucked away in the bottom of a dresser drawer and Dad never should have been snooping.

I also have a very long list of things in my mind that I remember that my Mom has done. But at that time and even now it does absolutely no good to list them. Why dwell on stuff that’s happened and cannot change?

And I will admit that I did make a lot of self centered decisions back then. But in my eyes both of my parents had lost their minds and were no longer the people I knew or necessarily trusted. I did what I thought would be best for me. Most of my decisions revolved around being able to be with my friends. And a lot of my decisions did come back to bite me in the ass. But life doesn’t come with a how to manual, you take a stab at something it doesn’t work you learn and you move on.

My Dad has it in his mind that he didn’t go that far off the deep end when the divorce happened. But I saw it; I saw what our home looked like after he took a sledge hammer to it inside. I still have my great, great grandmother’s china hutch that bears the marks from it. I heard what he had to say first hand about Mom and Stan and my Grandma. I heard from others what he had to say. I heard the phone calls he’d make to me in the middle of the night ranting and raving.

Also along with my self centered decisions I made a lot of others that I thought would make everyone happy and they always blew up in my face. My world changed just as much as anyone else’s during that whole stupid mess and I tried to deal with the bumpy pot hole filled road as best I could. I didn’t always do the best job with it but neither did they. And I sure as hell never did anything to intentionally hurt either one of them. I never sold my Dad down the river as he put it.

He had every right to be hurt and angry about the divorce and things that happened. I understand, but to still be the way he is 10 years later just doesn’t cut it for me. The man that raised me was a better man than he is being now, than he has been. In ways I am mad at him for not trying to come out of this place he’s in. And maybe it’s unfair towards him to feel that way. Everyone has a right to feel the way they do, but I guess I just don’t feel that gives them the right to constantly remind people and yell at them and all that crap. I wasn’t always angry with him about how he is, for a long time I’ve tried to be patient thinking eventually he will start to heal. But after going through this for ten years my patience is not what it used to be. Especially now that I have my own family to think of. Especially now that my daughter doesn’t get the chance to know the man that raised me, because that man isn’t ever coming back. But I will deal with it. I will try just as hard to accept that fact and let him be who he is. I may not like it but I cannot change it. I will be the person I was raised to be.

So I really should be tackling this ginormous amount of filing I have on my desk, but I do not like filing and would rather be writing for all of you! I think I have finally found that way back to being me. I haven’t cried for no apparent reason for over a week now, so doing good.

And also my duties as love guru have started back up. The couples that are still together are back to their same old disagreements a few aren’t together anymore, but still need me :P My universe is back in balance. I guess horrible luck is what I get for bitching about being appointed as the love guru.

I’m also very proud that I made it through the weekend without any tequila shots…thank God! Friday night I slipped out to a local tavern where my friend Nick and two of his other band mates were doing an unplugged show. The band technically doesn’t exist anymore since as most bands do it imploded for some reason. I blame it on the fact that the main focus of the band was Nick and his two older brothers. The never agreed on anything and add alcohol into the mixture it’s bound to spell disaster. But I had to admit I rather enjoyed their unplugged show. It was Nick his oldest brother Scott (the know it all) and their keyboard player Gary. I had not had a chance to hear Gary play yet, but the man is awesome. He is a Vietnam veteran and can play like there is no tomorrow and has a wonderful voice too. I stayed long enough to hear one set and have a drink with Nick when they took a break. I haven’t seen much of him since he’d started dating his girlfriend Jade, so it was time to catch up a bit. Unfortunately he and Jade broke up yesterday. I guess Nick’s drinking has gotten really bad over the last few months and she’s a mom to two little girls and has issues of her own. So I guess it’s for the best all the way around. I just hope Nick doesn’t drink himself into an early grave over it all.

I left Nick rather early in the night though since I had to be up early on Saturday. Mom and I were playing in Gibby’s fall classic 9 ball tournament and had to be on the road by 9am. I was rather nervous about the tournament since it would be the first time I’d played 9 ball competitively. My nerves got worse after we got there and I saw the kind of players that had shown up. I also was not happy with the fact that we were playing in the women’s bracket. I don’t like playing other women very often. I get too competitive and then I can’t play worth anything. But in this case I settled for it since I wouldn’t have had a flying fart in space of doing well in the open bracket. There were four of us from our town and I figured that Tabitha and another girl would do really well along with my Mom. But the pool gods shined on me and I finished in 5th place! Tabitha, the other girl and my Mom all got eliminated in the 2nd and 3rd rounds. I was pretty pleased with how I did. I felt incredibly lucky and everyone was very proud of me.

Sunday night I was the sacrificial lamb for the pool team though. We won 4-1 and I was only one game away from winning my match. But that’s okay I figured I’d played a lot of pool over the weekend and it wasn’t a huge deal if I didn’t win. The rest of my team did awesome; Mike took out a really good player that’s ranked much higher than him, Lisa kicked ass in a rematch against a guy that none of us like, Tabitha got a rackless for what will probably be her last time playing since she has finally found a job and Brad won his match really well too.

So I am finally feeling a bit better this week. I don’t feel like I’m in a complete funk anymore. We got the car fixed and it wasn’t overly expensive (yay) and things are going ok. Went out Friday night and had a night of pool and drinking and laughing and crying. For lack of remembering who I have nicknamed what on here, gloves are off and I’m using real names now. LOL

I was out with Jimmy (aka Smalls), Tabitha (not sure if I’ve mentioned her before) and Tyler (never brought him up either). Now we all are horrible examples for each other and the night turned into playing scotch doubles 8 ball and doing shots of tequila and whatever else we had. I had a total of 1 long island iced tea and one beer other than the shots and I was feeling absolutely no pain by the time the night was over. And our wonderful most awesome friend Cover was bartending so we didn’t pay for most of it. Now with all of this drinking we wind up doing I usually wind up tiptoeing over that happy go lucky edge to I cry for no reason what so ever. But at least this time I was crying cause of my puppies and just because of the crappy mood I have been in. The night ended with us heading out with our friend Jonah and his mom Susan. Susan just got a new pool table at her house so we went there to play (this is where I did most of my crying :P) After being there for a couple of hours we all found a ride home. It was about this time that I realized I had lost my keys. Which let me tell you is no easy task. I have lots of keys and lots of key chains all hooked together. But thankfully Susan found them Saturday in her car. They evidently fell out of my purse.

I spent Saturday feeling just a bit under the weather but not near as bad as I had expected. My Hubby Tim and the kids headed out of town so Tristen his oldest son could visit his mom and Tim could see his family there too. So Lily and I got a whole weekend together and it was so much fun. Saturday we just putzed around the house and she used the potty!! Sunday we got up and I took her to breakfast at our drive in restaurant Sonic. She enjoyed a sausage breakfast burrito and apple juice and played with a lady bug that landed on her. After that we went to church where I have no idea what went on because I was so busy occupying her time. Then we met up with Lisa (aka Specs) and her little boy Evan at the park. We took Comet our new puppy with us and it was a blast. He’s such a good little dog. He doesn’t need a leash and is friendly to everyone he meets. When we were all tired from the fresh fall air we went home and had lunch and laid down for a short nap. Tim wasn’t quite back in town yet by the time I had pool league so Lily got to go with me for a while. Everyone loves her and she had lots of fun. Tim showed up just in time though, she was getting tired and ready to go bye bye. So I saw them off and went back and finished our pool night. I am happy to report I won my match against a player that was supposed to be a lot better than I am. I thoroughly kicked his butt!!

Yesterday was a decent Monday. I got a lot of things done at work that I wanted to, except for my mountain of filing, but it went good. During my break I was checking out the Humane Society’s web page to see if they got any new dogs in and spied a 4 month old female basset hound. It had to be fate. Tim and I had discussed getting a second dog and we had been thinking about getting a basset hound. But all of the people that have them around here wanted way too much money. So I snuck out of work just a bit early and met Tim there to look at her. And I am happy to say we added a pretty basset girl named Maggie to our family. She is extremely well behaved, half way potty trained and is great with Comet and the kids. She is just a big lover. I’m still missing my babies Lady and Charlie but I know they are happy and taken care of up in that big doggie heaven. I’m just glad to be able to give two other dogs a good home and lots of love. Here is a cute picture I took over lunch of our Maggie and Comet.

Somewhere along this lovely road of life I have evidently completely pissed off the Gods of Luck and Prosperity. In the past 6 weeks I have put two dogs to sleep, had H1N1 flu virus and as of today my car died right in the middle of morning traffic. The check engine light has been going on and off for the past week or so, but I checked the oil and the belts and made sure nothing was leaking out from underneath and couldn’t find a thing. Thankfully when it died on our busiest street this morning it started right back up, but those few seconds almost put me into a panic attack! Breaking down on a side street is one thing but being two cars back from the main traffic light in town during morning rush sucks donkey balls. I switched out vehicles over lunch to be on the safe side. At least now I get to ride around in style in my beloved Mustang. Lily will be thrilled too. Her car seat only fits in the front and she loves the fact that she can see out so well and that her brother is condemned by himself to the backseat. No worries though, my airbags automatically turn off when you have under a certain weight in the front seat.

I am very ready for this bad luck streak to be over. I don’t have exceptionally good luck to begin with so when I say I’m having bad luck I really have bad luck. I am hoping to rectify this situation with the Gods and happily go back to my mediocre luck. You are all welcome of course to make your own contributions of good karma and luck ;)