The Talk

Well an update on my soap opera of a marriage…We talked last night. Didn’t quite go the direction I wanted it to, but it went well. He’s not leaving….yet. We agreed to work on things for a while to see if we can get any of that spark and stuff back and see if I have made up my mind that way. If not we’re going to try things separately. It’s weird talking to him sometimes. He tells me he loves me, is in love with me and all that stuff but in other ways he doesn’t sound like it. I think a lot of it is he too is worried about leaving his comfort zone and feeling like a failure yet once again in life. Basically here’s a short history on him:

He had a great childhood baby of 4 kids. He was the ooops. He’s the baby by I think 7 years. But everything up until he was 14 was great. At 14 his mom died in his father’s arms at the hospital of a heart attack. (This is one thing that I think produced who he is today.) He and his Dad got along okay and things were okay, he did great in high school, got offered full ride scholarships then his senior year he got his freshman girlfriend pregnant and there came his first son. After T was born he still went to college. Only a couple hours drive away. Met a lot of friends had a good time then when summer came he worked in construction and fell down an air conditioning shaft and cut off 3 of his fingers on his right hand. From there he moved back in with his Dad to have 5 different surgeries to save his hand and fingers(which was successful) in the meantime girlfriend and mother of baby T had a bad car accident and had some brain damage that turned her completely different and psychotic. After all of this and he went back to school he worked for another construction company and got crushed by a wall and had lots and lots of nerve damage and stuff. He spent well over a year rehabilitating and had to be on happy drugs for the nerve damage and to keep him from being depressed because of what happened. Somewhere after that he moved to devil town (Gothenburg, NE) and did okay for a while (still on the happy drugs at this time, legal happy drugs) then met psycho bitch #2 and had Little Guy. From there she abandoned both of them after Little Guy was born, did drugs, and stole money from him the whole nine yards. He finally got up enough money to get the divorce going, she did a bunch of other shit to make his life and mine hell but then finally we got her out of the picture last year.

So he has had his fair share of shit. Which isn’t an excuse for the way he acts sometimes. But it does explain why he does do things they way he does sometimes. Which also might explain part of how I wound up with him too. But at least now I think this talk last night will really make the two of us think about what we want out of life and where we are headed. I know everyone is wondering why it’s taking me so long, but that’s just me. I’m not completely surefooted about everything and don’t want to make that leap without having my mind made up. This sounds horrible but sometimes I think it might make things easier if one of us had someone else that we’ve fallen for. But that is not the way to do things I know that much. And I refuse to do it that way anyway. But I think I understand how people wind up in someone else’s arms when they’re married. I have cheated on people in the past but have never cheated while I’ve been married and don’t intend to start. Granted if Petri came back into the picture it would probably be a different story, he will always be my soft spot. But there is an update of what’s going on. I have decided to write about better, happier, more fun things for a while too. So you poor people that read my boring drivel about my marriage will get a break from it for a while. Ta Ta For Now 