Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Befuddled

Good afternoon! I hope everyone’s day is going well. Mine is okay. Kinda lazy feeling today here at work. Granted that’s not much different from any other day. Very tired though. Haven’t slept the greatest the last few days. I hate allergy season. Ever since I turned 18 allergy season is my enemy. It’s like all of a sudden on my 18th birthday God whacked me in the sinuses and said you will here forth have allergies and seasonal asthma. During hay season, literally hay, I’m allergic to it now I get all stuffy and puffy and wheezy. My lungs are fine any other time of the year except now. My doctor told me it’s seasonal asthma that’s brought on by my allergies. I think it’s psychotic. I whistle while I breathe if I get really bad and feel like a baby elephant is sitting on top of me. I’m supposed to have a rescue inhaler this time of year in case I have an attack but I’m too cheap to go buy it and I haven’t had an attack for 3 years now. The Husband thinks I’m allergic to our animals and that I’m in denial about it. Which that is asinine but even if I were I wouldn’t care, I’d have them anyway. They’re better company than a lot of people I know. Speaking of the Husband, I’m in a very befuddled state today. We had another disagreement last night. Not a fight because there really wasn’t any fighting, just him acting childish again. But basically this disagreement I think pushed one too many buttons for me, and I think he’s realized it too. And I’m still ticked off at him, maybe it’s more sever annoyance I’m not sure what exactly it is, but I know what I’m thinking of asking him to do tonight and told him we need to talk and of course ever since last night when he realized he may have pushed me too far he’s been sucking up. I hate it when people do that! Especially when they’re wanting your forgiveness or something but aren’t really willing to say they’re sorry. It also pisses me off because even “I’m sorry” wouldn’t make things better. Words don’t always fix things, neither do actions. But even though I know it’s just a manipulation tactic it still softens me up a bit. I know it shouldn’t and I’m trying very hard to make sure it doesn’t soften me up too much. But it tends to make leaving one’s comfort zone even harder when stuff like that happens. It’s just a befuddling day, but hopefully the talk will go well tonight and I won’t stroke out before I say what I need to say. Wish me luck!

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