tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32414151.post115584043264173582..comments2023-10-14T06:00:49.353-05:00Comments on Tales and Adventures of Suvvy Land: The TalkSuvvyGirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11544878224070193819noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32414151.post-1155919805954120912006-08-18T11:50:00.000-05:002006-08-18T11:50:00.000-05:00Suvvy, You may understand where he is coming from,...Suvvy, <BR/><BR/>You may understand where he is coming from, but is his behavior something you can, or want, to put up with for the rest of your life? Knowing where someone comes from doesn't make that an automatic excuse to be a fucking asshole (pardon my french). <BR/><BR/>I had to be my brother and sister's "mom" when I was a freshmen in high school because we found out my brother was mentally ill and my mom fell into a deep, dark depression. After she came out of it and Matt got stabilized on his meds, she decided to go back to school so even then, I was still playing "mom" to a degree (although not as bad as I was freshmen year). Matt was just killed last year in an accident... uhm, the trash truck ran over his head and upper chest and he was killed instantly. <BR/><BR/>The point is, there's a lot of bad shit that goes on in life, but none of it is a reason to make the ones that you say you love, feel miserable and unhappy. It's not a "get out of jail free card" nor is it an excuse or a crutch to be an SOB. <BR/><BR/>I'm not even saying that he doesn't have his good days, but everyone can cover up who and what they are for a temporary amount of time. It's pretty obvious your husband is unhappy and miserable and using things from his past to justify his behavior now when there is NO justification. How is it YOUR responsibility to try and "make" him happy and to deal with all that? You can't change a person, no matter how much you want to. And I think Coyote Mike is right - he's going to pump you full of crap and make you THINK that he truly wants to change because he knows your not stupid and that you know you can't change him. But if he can convince you that he really wants to change, then he knows you'll stick around to "help" him. Meanwhile, he gets to stay in his comfort zone and you get to stay miserable and unhappy. <BR/><BR/>But... the choice is yours and you will have to make it when you're ready. The people who care about you (me included) can give you our opinions and thoughts, but ultimately, you have to do what you feel is right and what will make you happy, in your time. <BR/><BR/>Take care, sweetie... and I hope this wasn't too harsh :(.Amberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04931859412138777861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32414151.post-1155866372654419012006-08-17T20:59:00.000-05:002006-08-17T20:59:00.000-05:00Are you sure you want me in a less objective (deta...Are you sure you want me in a less objective (detached) state of mind?Coyotemikehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00377837480359272465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32414151.post-1155847134053993492006-08-17T15:38:00.000-05:002006-08-17T15:38:00.000-05:00I'm keeping that in mind already from what we talk...I'm keeping that in mind already from what we talked about last night. His comfort zone but also his friend. I don't think it's all completely sinister. But at least a tiny bit farther than I was before. And at least he is paying all of his bills. I pay my half he pays his. (And I know, I know "why don't I do it already") I'd have nothing to drive you crazy with then. But I am going to start having more independence about things and stuff. Someday when you're not in an objective state of mind I'll explain more of the conversation (only if you want to hear it of course). But thanks for being there and letting me drive you nuts. I need to tell you that more. Loves :)SuvvyGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11544878224070193819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32414151.post-1155843856613116932006-08-17T14:44:00.000-05:002006-08-17T14:44:00.000-05:00Why do I get the feeling he is in love with you be...Why do I get the feeling he is in love with you because he has someone who is taking care of things for him, who is giving him a place to live, who is taking care of his kid, who stood up to his ex, etc, etc, etc. <BR/><BR/>Keep that in mind when next you think of this . . . are you the woman he love, or are you the situation he loves.Coyotemikehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00377837480359272465noreply@blogger.com