Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year!!

It’s hard to believe 2008 has come and going so quickly. It doesn’t even seem like Christmas should be over yet.

Our Christmas went well. We all enjoyed each other’s company on Christmas Eve and Lily enjoyed tearing into her presents and everyone else’s. We spent Christmas Day with my grandmother and came home the next day.

So far everyone seemed pleased with their gifts. The Hubby and I have such a terrible time getting gifts for one another. It’s like our minds draw a blank and we have no f-ing clue what to get each other. But he got me some wonderful things, included an awesome set of chef’s knives, and he got a butt load of DVD’s. He was gonna get the game Rock Band but the stores around here had different plans.

We also got to see my Grandpa and his wife on Sunday (it’s my Dad’s adopted father. His biological family I hardly know). He said that Dad is doing well and I finally had someone tell me where in Colorado my Dad was working and living. Ever since my Dad called a few months back in screamed at me incoherently for something I haven’t talked to him. I’ve talked to my step mom a couple of times, but that kind of came to a stop when I didn’t want to rent our house in Minden to her brother and his wife. Considering the fact that she has never fully accepted me and the fact that she nor anyone else bothered to explain to these people that I was her step daughter I didn’t feel this would be the best business transaction for me to make. They also don’t have any jobs right now, so I don’t see where this would have been conducive for my bank account. I like my step mom and she seems to make my Dad happy, but she has never been overly fond of me and has done a few back handed things over the years and just doesn’t really help Dad’s and I’s already rocky relationship much.

But after getting my Dad’s mailing address I have finally written him a letter telling him how I feel and how I’ve felt over the past 10 years. My parents divorced when I was 15 and since the night it all came to a head the man that raised me has pretty much ceased to exist. My Dad was awesome and I was always very proud that he was my father, but when him and Mom split up he just…broke..and I nor anyone else could fix him and he wasn’t and still isn’t interested in being fixed. He became a bitter angry person who has alienated a lot of people that care about him.

Ever since he changed so much I have always felt very awkward around him. He seems like a stranger and it just bothers me that I have to relearn how to be comfortable around my own Dad. I cannot blame the man for being hurt his marriage was over, but I really thought at least part of the real him would survive and come back. I do see a glimpse of him every now and then, but for the most part the man I knew is gone. I don’t know if the letter I wrote him will help us form a new relationship or not but it’s at least worth a try. There are quite a few bridges that I have mended this year so maybe there’s room for another one.

On another note I turn 25 on Monday. So far not really doing anything for it. This probably sounds silly and maybe selfish but I’ve always secretly dreamed of having one birthday where my friends and family would communicate with one another to do something fun for my birthday, even if it’s just going out for dinner and drinks. It’s no big deal that hasn’t ever happened, but it’d be really cool if it ever did. Either way it goes this year I’m sure I’ll have a good birthday. Lily can help me blow out my candles. And I’m hoping the pool table we ordered will be in this weekend so hopefully we’ll have it set up and I can play pool in my own home on Monday.

It’s not the greatest pool table in the world. We got a cheap one from Sears, but I’m hoping it will arrive in decent enough shape to play a decent game on. Once we have the money I’d like to splurge and get a nice slate top table. But until then I hope this one works out.

Anyway, I really probably should do some form of work while I have some time left. So I hope you all have a safe and happy new year!!!


At 9:01 PM , Blogger Andy said...

Glad to hear your Christmas was enjoyable, and I hope your 2009 is everything you want it to be.

And I'm SO jealous about the pool table. I've wanted one for ages, but every time I bring the subject up the boss rightly points out that we don't have the space for one.

One day...


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