Monday, July 07, 2008

Suvvy Stupidity and a Meme

Well I scratched the entire post I had written. It was boring shit. I decided I wanted to write about something funny which only means one thing….I’m delving into the file of “Stupid Things Suvvy Has Done”. While there are endless entries to this file only one came to my foggy Monday brain. So here it is…

In middle school I was part of a group of friends. We were all girls entering the wonderful world of puberty. This friendship only lasted from 6th grade to most of the way through 7th before we started being snarky little witches to one another and fighting over who wore the same shirt as someone else and so on. I never had the shirt problem I just became marked a lesbian because I wore a t shirt that made fun of guys for gym class. (Then somewhere in high school I got dubbed a slut. Still not sure how I managed to make that leap just over the summertime, especially since I was still a virgin, at that time.) Anyway, I’m getting off track so I digress.

One night we all got together at our friend Lisa’s house for a slumber party. And with 7 newly turned teenage girls the night revolved around talking about boys, kissing and sex. What little we knew or thought we knew of those topics. Then of course we got down to that old game of truth or dare and it wound up being a game of dare to eat what ungodly concoctions the others see fit to feed you. We found out that pickles and ice cream really doesn’t taste that bad, that blue cheese dressing and Reeses Puffs cereal is vomit worthy and I think I have mentally blocked anything else we tried that night.

Then it was time to try our hands at witchcraft. This consisted of us putting one of our friends in the middle of a blanket with the rest of us lifting her off the ground and then trying to keep her there with our mental powers. Naturally we figured putting the smallest person in the blanket was best, but had to rethink it a bit after the first try. Our first friends whom was the smallest skinniest etc. was full blooded Navajo Indian and while they are petite and trim they have some of the highest density bones ever!! So after the rest of us couldn’t even get her off the ground we put our friend Jess in the middle. Fortunately for those of us lifting we got her off the ground, unfortunate for her our witchcraft skills were lacking that night and we dropped her.

After we were all tuckered out we decided it was time for us to get into our comfy pj’s and lie down a bit. I think we were all a bit green from the oddities we had eaten earlier in the night. Now most of us didn’t mind changing in front of the others but Jess wanted us all to turn around while she changed. Why the girl just didn’t go into the bathroom to change I will never know. Maybe she thought simplicity was overrated back then. But we all turned around so she could change. Now lucky me I’m standing by the closet so when I turned around I basically was standing in half of Lisa’s closet. Now this is one of those closets with the folding doors and she only had the one door open. Jess was taking an abnormally long time to change and I was getting tired of standing up straight so I decided to lean on the wall. Here my friends is where my stupidity lies. Now instead of doing the normal thing and leaning on the wall closest to me on the side with the door open I decide I’m going to lean on the other wall that has the closed closet door. Well, that wall was a bit further away than I originally thought. The fact that the closed door was longer than my arm didn’t make a bit of difference to me. So when my outstretched arm did not rest on the wall imagine my dismay as I start falling into the closet. Sadly for me Lisa was a rather organized individual and had some of those metals shelves hung up on that side of the closet along with some boxes sitting on the floor. As I fell in what seemed like slow motion to me I hit my nose on the shelf and landed in between the closed closet door and the boxes with my outstretched arm underneath me and over my head.

At this time I hear my friends ask each other where I went. Then Tits looks over and sees my feet kicking. So they all of course rush over to find out what in hell I was doing in the closet. Once they discovered how I got there they all erupted in laughter. The laughter only got worse when we all discovered I was stuck and when I laughed my butt made the door jiggle. Eventually I was able to wiggle out of the closet. And upon my liberation from the closet from hell I was greeted with many “coming out” jokes.

Sadly enough even though our friendships never lasted everyone seems to remember that night.

On another note I got tagged by Bullhorn like two weeks ago but I finally have the means to do it.

The Meme is as follows:
You open the nearest book to page 123, and write down the fifth sentence on the page.

My sentence has come from A Scholar of Magics by Caroline Stevermer.

“But the, I saw the intruder once he came close to me.”

I have not read this book yet as I just bought it today. But it sounds rather interesting to me. Here is part of the description the inside cover gives on it.

“This sparking sequel to A College of Magics is a whirlwind of secret weapons, motor cars, mysterious assaults and abductions, thugs in bowler hats, and a mild-mannered don who is heir to a magical power greater than all of Glasscastle’s. The resulting tale is as funny as a Gilbert and Sullivan Victorian romp, with the wit and suspense of a Dorothy Sayers mystery, and a dash of John Wayne thrown in for good measure.”

I now tag Coyote Mike and Stetsybits.


At 10:49 PM , Blogger Clyde said...

Geez, I hope you got rid of that virginity---it's such a bitch to carry around

At 9:55 PM , Blogger SuvvyGirl said...

Thanks for stopping by Clyde!! And yes I got rid of it :P


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